FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE REVIEW: Tonight I had the pleasure to watch “Survivor” which stars Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element, Resident Evil: Apocalypse), Dylan McDermott (Olympus Has Fallen, The Perks of Being a Wallflower), Robert Forster (Jackie Brown, The Descendants), Pierce Brosnan (GoldenEye, The November Man), Frances de la Tour (Hugo, The Book of Eli), Roger Rees (The Prestige, Robin Hood: Men in Tights), and Angela Bassett (Meet the Robinsons, Boyz n the Hood). It is directed by James McTeigue (V for Vendetta, The Raven ). Kate Abbott (Jovovich) is a Foreign Service Officer stationed in London who is trained to stop terrorists from getting to the U.S. by checking their backgrounds when they want papers to get on planes. Everything is going well, until Kate suspects that a man asking for safe passage to the U.S. is a terrorist. After seeing that his background doesn’t check out, she starts digging more into his profile until her boss takes her off of the assignment. That doesn’t stop her though. She keeping searching for more information, and she soon gets it. But it costs her much more than she could imagine. Because of her finding out this man is a terrorist, his boss sends a hitman named Nash (Brosnan) to kill her, sending Kate on the run when her situation gets more complicated when her agency suspects her of being a terrorist.
If you read my first sentence above, you may have thought “hey, he had the pleasure of watching this film! It must be good!” Well, I am sorry, but you are wrong. One thing the written word can’t do is express sarcasm. This movie was atrocious. Before I unleash my sea of cons through your screen (and you’re in the splash zone), I will state my pros of this film. The first would be the special effects. This film did have some good visual effects for what we’re shown, but then again this day in age you would expect that to be a given. Explosions are always cool to see, especially in slow-motion. The last pro (that was quick) is that the acting was okay. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t that great either. Now lets take a dive into this roaring sea of hate. I never seen a trailer or a synopsis for this movie before I watched it. I only knew what the name was and what the poster was like. So I really had no expectations for it. As my eyes stared at the screen, I began to realize the mistake I made as the plot unfolded. The first word to come to my head is jumbled. This film’s plot is a jumbled mess. I couldn’t understand what was going on for most of the time. Granite, I watched this with two other people and we made fun of it, taking away the hearing of dialogue, but even if I paid attention, I would’ve been lost in the beginning. Once I understood what was going on, I was still confused. Mainly because of the poor execution of Kate trying to figure out what is going on. What this film tried to do was subject you to Kate being on the run by her own agency, with her trying to find out who is really behind all of this, eventually having to stop a threat. It sounds promising, but it was handed to me in the worst way possible. I laughed at how I couldn’t comprehend why they decided to do certain things in the movie. You jump from not only Kate’s viewpoint, but he villain’s as well, and the plot is so jumbled that I can’t keep up with what they are trying to get at! It made me question myself “is there really something I am not getting at, but everyone else is?”, but I knew that wasn’t the case when my companions thought the same way. With all of those confusing things in mind, let me express my feelings for Brosnan’s character Nash (that sounded better in my head…). This hitman was awful. He couldn’t get a job right and he looked stupid trying to chase after Kate. Every time he would catch up to her, everything ended up the same way, making it repetitive. His decisions also didn’t add up. He killed some of his own people for no reason at all, making him a hollow shell of a character that no one can make out (not in the kissing sense). If that wasn’t bad enough, there is something worse: Nash is clean-shaven most of the movie, but for some reason, he has a mustache for three scenes. Where the heck did it come from?! I don’t know…..I honestly don’t know. They never indicated a flash-back, so I just assumed that he could grow one fast. Aside from Nash, another con of this film is how I never felt a thrill. This movie is supposed to get you on the edge of your seat, but even some jump-scares didn’t make me flinch. It was stale. I didn’t feel like the stakes were high, resulting in me not having any sympathy for any of the characters or the situation at hand. With all of this added up and the beginning being slow (I didn’t mention it before), this movie felt more like a chore than an enjoyment. For a movie lasting only a little over an hour and thirty minutes, it felt very long. In fact, in all of those minutes I sat staring at that screen, I couldn’t help but smell the burning of popcorn. (by the way, the title to this movie doesn’t go along with the plot whatsoever, unless that’s what they want to refer to you as if you can actually sit through it.) FINAL SCORE: 30%= Burnt Popcorn
This movie has been inducted into The Burnt Hall of Shame.
Here is the trailer: