FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE REVIEW: Tonight, my family decided to watch “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” which stars Kevin James (Grown Ups 2, The King of Queens [TV series]), Raini Rodriguez (Austin & Ally [TV series], Girl in Progress), Neal McDonough (Minority Report , Captain America: The First Avenger), Gary Valentine (Here Comes the Boom, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry), Eduardo Verástegui (Bella, The Butterfly Circus [short]), Daniella Alonso (The Collector, The Hills Have Eyes II), David Henrie (Wizards of Waverly Place [TV series], The Secret World of Arrietty), Loni Love (Gunshot Straight, Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide [TV series]), Nicholas Turturro (NYPD Blue [TV series], The Longest Yard), Shelly Desai (Toys, Thelma & Louise), Vic Dibitetto (Covering the Spread [short], Heart & Soul [short]), D.B. Woodside (24 [TV series], Romeo Must Die), and Bas Rutten (Punk Payback [TV series], Here Comes the Boom). It is directed by Andy Fickman (She’s the Man, The Game Plan). It’s been six years, but Paul Blart (James), everyone’s favorite mall cop, is back and in broader scenery. After tragic events happening to Paul, he feels like nothing will ever turn around for the better for him. That is until he gets an invitation to a security officer convention in Las Vegas. There, he meets new people and gets a well-deserved vacation. All of that changes however when thieves in the hotel Paul is staying at set up a heist of priceless artwork. It is up to Paul Blart to do what he does best and keep safety at its highest priority.
Have you ever watched a show (usually a comedy) where one character walks in on someone watching a movie and asks “what are you watching?” and the other person says a fake movie name that sounds so ridiculous that you just laugh? Well, look at the title of this movie. I’ve heard it and I believe it: movies are at their worst times right now, generating more sequels and overly used plotlines than they do original films. It angers me and even though we get a few good sequels (“Avengers: Age of Ultron”), it still isn’t what Hollywood should be giving its viewers. “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” justifies my point. This movie is a train wreck. It is something that should have never been made and the reason for it being here just shows how stupid they think we are. Of course, with a bad movie like this, I have to give my good points about it first. I only have two that are pure pros. The first is that Kevin James is still the funny guy that we know and love and gives a fairly good performance in this movie, even with its awful script. The last is the special effects were pretty cool. There you have it (I am laughing right now at how short that list was). This movie feels like a bad Disney Channel movie, but when is there ever a good one nowadays? The writing is very bad, and I will point out that one of the writers of the script was Kevin James himself. After seeing that in the credits I thought to myself that he should just stick to acting. The jokes in this film are so terrible that you only laugh at some of them rather than with them. I do admit, I laughed at half of the jokes of this movie, but it was only because of how poor they are. On a separate issue, you will say quite a bit of times “why?” during this film because most of it makes no sense. Everything is the same as well: Paul Blart goes about his day only for the building he is in to be taken over by villains that want to steal things as well as his daughter. It’s been said and done in the first film, with them even rehashing jokes from its predecessor in this one. Now, don’t get me wrong: “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” was a fantastic film. Yes, it’s a comedy, but it is a classic in my book, offering both a nostalgic and lovable factor that I can watch countless times. What this movie did, however, was took what was made from the first one and demolished it in the first five minutes of its runtime. You may be wondering, “five minutes?”, but it is true. It made no sense, but they decided to cut off most ties with the first movie to make a funny joke that turned out to be more dark and stupid than comedic. I wont spoil it though. It just saddens me, and that is the issue I have most with this movie. I really can’t think of a better way to sum it up on how I felt. At times during the movie, they try to have a sad moment by serving the depressing music queue (it happened about five times), but you don’t feel any of it because these characters are hollow and the crummy jokes before, after, and sometimes during it don’t help. And, most of this movie is filled with these jokes strung together with little momentum on the big story arc at hand, making it very slow in runtime. But, even after all I said about this film, I will say that I wasn’t bored. It was mainly due to me questioning everything that happened on the screen though. Overall, this is a shameful movie that no one should ever see and I recommend that you skip over it. FINAL SCORE: 30%= Burnt Popcorn
This movie has been inducted into The Burnt Hall of Shame.
Here is the trailer: