“The Room”

MOVIE REVIEW: “The Room” stars Tommy Wiseau (Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance, Cold Moon), Greg Sestero (Alien Presence, Dude Bro Party Massacre III), Juliette Danielle (Dead Kansas, The Trouble with Barry), Philip Haldiman (An Uplifting Tale, Murder Inside of Me), Carolyn Minnott (Crisis Line, That’s My Bush!), Robyn Paris (Mojave Green, Traps), Mike Holmes (Puppy Whistle, Bill’s Gun Shop), Dan Janjigian (Irangeles, Take Out), Kyle Vogt (Continuity, Fatty), and Greg Ellery (Full Frame, The Bike Squad). It is written and directed by Tommy Wiseau. Johnny (Wiseau), a successful banker, is living the high life with his fiancé Lisa (Danielle) and his best friend Mark (Sestero). However, conflict arises when Lisa questions her relationship with Johnny and gives into the inner lust she has for another man.

It was bound to happen folks; I mean, look at my latest banner for the site (unless you read this later in time). “The Room” has been deemed by many pompous and intelligent filmmakers/movie watchers as THE worst film to ever grace the screen. With its production quality that resembles a porno and acting that is worse than what is found in a reality television series, “The Room” boasts a plethora of screw-ups and what-not-to-dos in the movie making industry. Most of you who read this probably know the story; one man by the name of Tommy Wiseau assembled a team in which he produced, wrote, directed, and starred in “the dream story.” By dream story, I mean the tale of a fiancé cheating on her significant other with his best friend. Yes, there’s not much to it, but the sheer weight of this atrocity in what it delivers to the bland plot makes for an entertaining ride. While Wiseau wanted a serious drama of how “you can’t really trust anyone,” he was given a now-deemed black comedy of all sorts of wackiness. Before trekking further into this review, I should state that this analysis is for those who have not seen or heard of the movie. Any of you who have watched it or caught whiff of the stench may have already read countless analyses that wrote the same slop that I am going to. The opinions are typically the same as well as the break downs of what unfolded in this disaster, so bear that in mind while reading further. What made this such a dumpster fire in the first place? Well, I believe it was Mr. Wiseau, a random guy no one knows anything about besides his terrible acting and kooky personality. Trust me guys, he’s just as weird as he performs away from the camera. He threw his money at this project as if his life depended on it and didn’t care who got in the way. Half of his crew walked off during production and they even replaced one of the main actors halfway through the film (it caught me off guard and I had to figure out who the random schmuck was). This movie reeked of problems, however it was hard not to enjoy every second of it. Sure, it’s excruciatingly painful to sit through the terrible dialogue and direction, but you can’t help it; you have to laugh at what’s going on. Wiseau concocted a story of several characters, most of whom have either no drive or point to the plot at hand. Lisa, Johnny’s future wife (he never said fiancé in the flick), has a mom with breast cancer though the discovery is mentioned and dropped in a flash. Peter (Vogt) is a random psychologist who appears out of nowhere only to be called a chicken for not playing football with the guys. Denny (Haldiman) is some sort of man child who lives upstairs and spies on Johnny and Lisa like a creep (however they play it off like he’s innocent). The amount of people stack up, especially when a couple is introduced and are given no backstory as to who they are. Really, the only story arc that matters is the love triangle between Johnny, Lisa, and Johnny’s best friend, Mark. However, I say “love triangle” lightly because Lisa teeters between pitying Johnny and hating him. She never has a clear motivation besides getting into the pants of both men, and everyone around who knows she is cheating are cool with it. Johnny is an idiot for not realizing it, and Mark is bi-polar, either wanting to step back saying Johnny is his best friend or fall into temptation saying Johnny is a loser. It doesn’t make any sense, but you have to learn to leave common sense at the door. Surrounded by this backbone of cheating is many scenes that hold no grip. Denny has a run-in with Chris R. (Janjigian), his drug dealer, and Johnny takes his friends to throw football countless times (all of which makes them look gay). There is no true baring on the plot, yet why would there be any? Wiseau knows nothing about making quality cinema with “The Room” being evidence to this fact. You can’t look at this and consider it anything above rotten, but there is one feeling you can have: admiration. What makes “The Room” so popular is how awful it is. There are many scenes that work against all that is good, and what comes of it is quotable moments. Everyone knows the infamous rooftop sequence or the “you’re tearing me apart, Lisa” scream. It’s so bad that it is actually good (in a terrible respect; there’s no way I would give this a good rating). I loved seeing this fully for the first time as I’ve only watched its most memorable clips. It’s just as bad as I imagined it, times one hundred. You all know how I enjoy watching terrible releases, all for the sake of picking it apart and laughing at its absurdity. “The Room” is no exception, though it may in fact be the worst picture ever created. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about it apart from the fact that it’s the worst film. Seriously. I could say that the crew tried, but then again they didn’t accomplish anything. It was all Wiseau’s show, and everyone was in the backseat taking all the crap. If you love watching bad flicks that produce exceptional laughs, please watch this one. It is worth your time to witness the insanity of it all, and the only thing you’ll be disappointed in is the fact that you bought it on DVD. Thank you Tommy Wiseau, for this horrific gift of cinema. FINAL SCORE: 3%= Burnt Popcorn
This movie has been inducted into The Burnt Hall of Shame.
Here is the trailer:

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One response to ““The Room”

  1. Pingback: July Movie Rankings | Juicy Reviews·

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